On July 6th, Taylor Slow, a popular singer with hit albums such as Fearful and Green, walked up to Jason Kelce in a rage. In Jason Kelce’s office in the Playground Equipment Design Company headquarters (P.E.D.C.), Taylor dumped him while he was on his private swing set. She literally pushed him off of the swing.
”We had been together for three and a half years. But four months ago, when he got a job at the Playground Equipment Design Company, he started spending less and less time with me.”, said Slow when interviewed by a Tick-Tock Times journalist.
“I can’t believe she dumped me. She literally pushed me off the swing!” Said Kelce, with tears in his eyes, as he was swinging.
Taylor Slow got so angry that she launched an F.B.I. investigation to see why the swings were so addictive. It turns out the swing sets had cushioned seats and backs,
spill-resistant cup holders, non-squeak chains, auto swing settings, massage settings, VR headsets, can pack into tiny spaces for travel, and built in slushie machines.
”These swings are amazing, and I’ve already bought three sets, but I still don’t see why Jason was so addicted!”, said Slow while on her new swing set.