Everyone has a story: you just have to ask. Families are potentially the most influential part of a person: they shape how a person feel about themselves, how they feel about others, and how they feel about the world around them. Understanding the family dynamics of someone close to you is arguably the best way to know that person to their core. How have their parents shaped them? How does society react to or view their family? How does this make them who they are?
Niles Flath is a sixteen year-old student from Athens, Georgia who goes to Clarke Central High School. There, she edits her school’s literary magazine. She grew up in a biracial family with a stay-at-home white father and a South Asian mother who works in corporate law. Throughout Flath’s life, she has grappled with the negative societal perception of her self-described “untraditional family.” She understands the world because her mom taught her she could be anything.
Q: Do you think your upbringing and relationship with your mom influenced your perception of gender roles?
A: Oh, for sure. I go with my mom. She’s a corporate lawyer, so we go to all these corporate law conferences, and it’s a bunch of white men. And then there’s my small South Asian mom, and I’m like, okay, but I never thought I can’t do that because I see my mom do it. But yeah, my mom, she’s my superhero. I know everyone says that, but she’s so badass. She’s shown me that women can do pretty much anything. So when I talk to other girls and they’re like, oh, I just want to be a mom, I’m like, that’s great for you, but I cannot envision being a single mom.
Q: Could you tell me how you felt when you were old enough to make realizations about your family and its dynamic?
A: I never thought that my family was outside of the norm, necessarily. In that sense, I didn’t think there was anything weird about it, until I started talking to more people and found out that their moms didn’t work as much. They were more stay-at-home, and their dads went to work every day. So it was a shock to me, when I was younger, because I didn’t understand that that’s not necessarily how most families offered. It’s just kind of what I’d always grown up with.
Q: How did you feel about your identity?
A: I mean, I’ve come more to terms with my race lately. When I was younger, I was just like, I look white, so I might as well act white. But I’ve talked more with my mom, my mom’s sister married an Iranian man. So even though I’m not Iranian, we have a lot of people from Iran [in our family] and I mean, their stories are impressive like escaping oppression, escaping all of the dictatorship that’s going on there, I’ve been more like, oh, I’m South Asian too, and less like, I look like a basic white girl, so I should just act like a basic white girl.
Q: Did your friend’s opinions about your father and family influence how you saw your family, or, like, your role? Did it make you self-conscious about your role in your family?
A: I guess sometimes there’s the stereotype, like, if the woman speaks out, she’s sassy or whatever, but I try not to think about how other people think of me. That’s just like, why? Yeah, just honestly, figuring out that my family wasn’t the norm inspired me to keep branching out and not following the norm.
Many factors made Niles Flath who she is. Her mom, her familial dynamics, and the way society perceived her upbringing will continue to impact who she becomes as her life continues.
