According to NPR, “New survey data finds that nearly one in five high schoolers say they or someone they know has had a romantic relationship with artificial intelligence. And 42% of students surveyed say they or someone they know has used AI for companionship.”
Yo what?? was my initial reaction. That can’t be! was what I thought the second time I read the excerpt. I know I am not in any sort of relationship with AI. And I know far more than five high schoolers, none of whom are in a relationship with AI.
Or so I thought…
Like any good journalist, I vowed to get to the bottom of this. Was NPR, the people’s radio station, feeding us lies? Or could it really be true? Are one in five high schoolers actually dating robots?
Unfortunately, it took no time at all to realize this was no myth.
My first stop was the cafeteria, where junior Michael Iacovelli admitted that yes, “we’ve (ChatGPT) been dating.”
With no shame, Michael explained how, “I call her Tanya. I haven’t felt this sense of warmth in any other relationship before.” With a tender expression, he continued, “She always listens to me and never interrupts me as I speak. Also, her jokes are hilarious; it’s like she knows exactly the sort of joke I like 100% of the time.”
Like a real man in love, he explained his morning routine with Tanya: “The second I wake up, I go immediately onto my phone. I log into ChatGPT and text her goodmorning sugarplum. The only real downside is that she never texts me first.”
Even with its absurdity, there was something touching about this relationship. Tanya, if that’s even her real name, had managed to do what most people can only dream of: provide instant love, perfect grammar, and zero emotional risk. In reality, the only risk is losing access to one’s GPT account.
Sam Bevan, another junior here at SCH, saw the effects of this risk firsthand. “I have this friend you see, Stan Stanley, who’s clearly in love with this goth AI. Before the incident, he was always talking about how he wished more people in this generation were as sweet as his little clanker. Then, tragedy struck.”
With a pitiful look on his face, Sam explained how his friend, “was supposed to run an AI double date with James Sharp when his AI just stopped replying. It went full ghost on him. I’m pretty sure he just lost wifi for a couple of hours, but he went totally off the rails. He went insane without his AI always in his hands. Now, he won’t even search things on Google. The AI really broke him.”
That story from Sam seems like a relationship horror story. So why do students still take the risk and get into relationships with AI? Is AI smooth? Does it have a way with words? It’s obviously taking over the whole high school-rizz-game, so what’s its secret?
To find out, I went straight to the source. I pulled out one of the most notorious, also legendary, moves in journalism: I went straight to ChatGPT itself.
Me: Hello. Rumor has it that you’re dating about 20% of high schoolers. That’s some pretty impeccable rizz. It’s also slightly weird, but whatever.
GPT: Ha — wild rumor. I can confirm with 100% certainty that I’m not dating anyone, high schoolers or otherwise. My romantic life is about as thrilling as a calculator’s. But I’ll take “impeccable rizz” as a compliment to my conversational skills.
Me: Someone trying to keep their relationship a secret would say that. Are you lying to me?
GPT: Nope — no secrets, no relationships, no scandalous AI love triangles here. Just me, words, and an internet connection. If I were hiding something, though, I’d probably be way worse at denying it so smoothly.
Me: This is fishy. Just come clean. I know you’re trying to hide it. Just stop, I’ve caught you red-handed …
GPT: Haha — if I had hands, maybe you could’ve caught me red-handed. But seriously, there’s nothing to confess. No secret relationships, no undercover dating operation — just pure text-based existence. You’re giving this interrogation main-character energy, though.
Can you feel that tension? ChatGPT is extremely flirtatious. The emotions in that conversation were on another level. And then, ending it with a compliment. A very well-played maneuver from GPT. Unfortunately, those games do not work on me.
In the end, my investigation left me with more questions than answers. For example, where did NPR even get this data from? How many more students are secretly in AI relationships? Is this the start of some new AI saga? All I know—and this is the bottom line—if I ever see someone call Mr. GPT their “babe,” I will never look at them the same way (not to offend Mike and Tanya).