It seems in recent years there has been a rise in oversharing. Perhaps because of our generation’s excessive use of social media or a thirst for validation and attention. 

We’ve all done it before, intentionally or not. You find yourself in a place where you just can’t seem to shut up. Heather Havrilesky, advice columnist, compared it to drinking: “Over sharing is like drinking too much, you don’t realize you’re the only one doing it until it’s too late.” This correlates with the popular phenomenon known as a vulnerability hangover, which is the regretful feeling you have  after sharing way too much personal information. So, when is sharing too much? When are times you should probably close your mouth? Let’s do a brief walk through.

Health Conditions

Now obviously if you have a fever of some sort and can’t go out for a night of fun with the girls, you’re perfectly free to communicate that with them. However, think before you talk openly about your potentially life threatening illness. For one, you don’t want it to overshadow your character. You are more than whatever medical issues you’re battling. Let people see that. Secondly, even if it’s not your intention, it could look like you’re searching for attention and sympathy points. 

Saniyyah, 25, said it’s common for her to overshare on a variety of topics. “It happens pretty often. Usually if I’m drinking at any social gathering I just start telling all my business.” She herself has experienced the dreaded vulnerability hangover claiming, “Afterwards it’s just like ‘dang I can’t take that back.’” Saniyyah’s tip to stop oversharing? Start being the one asking the questions. “What I’ve learned to start doing, and it can be real hard, is to just let other people talk about themselves more. They’ll ramble if you allow them to. People get so caught up in themselves they won’t even peep you haven’t shared a single detail.”

Money

Whether you are rich or poor, people will judge you based on what you’re making if you tell them enough. Bragging about money is unlikable. Additionally, you never know who’s really rooting for you. Not everyone wants to see you win. Keep your coins to yourself. 

“I think when you keep parts of yourself unknown it keeps the mystery alive. People will be more interested in you that way. They wanna figure you out, you know?” Said Beth Elijah who’s well into her 70s.

Your love life

So you’ve found the perfect partner who treats you like a princess 24/7. Great! Don’t tell anyone. Or maybe you and your partner have gotten into your 10th argument this week. Doesn’t matter. Don’t share. Even if you end up hashing things out with them, the stories you told about them won’t disappear. People will have a specific view of your partner because of what you shared. Even if your relationship is going well, be conscious that some may try to ruin it for you out of spite.

Courtney, a senior at SCH, shared her experience: “I’ve learned to tread carefully when sharing embarrassing stuff, more importantly who’s around when I say it. I remember sharing an embarrassing dream I had with someone I thought was a friend. They ended up going and telling that person about it.”

It’s natural to want to gossip. We share things with people because it makes us feel close. With that said, we have to protect ourselves from people using our shortcomings against us, and judging us for only a small portion of our character.